a long letter home

Dear Typepad,

I have missed you, too.  The familiar late nights with a warm mug of tea in hand, the USB cord attaching my life (camera) to you (laptop), and the long conversations about visions, dreams, development, friendship, family and fun.

There are times in life when one needs to set something aside, and my greatest fear of it being you came true in order that I put true attention and focus where it was needed; my children, Sunny, Fannie, and My Healthy Beginning, were due for some time with mama.

Though the last year has been one trial and tribulation after another, you were always here with me to celebrate the wonder and the blessings that did show up.  Day after day there is always something worth giving thanks for.

A recap of the past week includes preparing to leave for Sioux Falls, renegotiating childcare more times than I care to think about, celebrating a milestone with my little brother, losing a family member, putting off the trip to Sioux Falls, feeling completely helpless, then being absolutely and totally lifted by the simple gesture of one and kindhearted words of another.

Friday morning we lost a four legged family member that my Sunny is absolutely attached to.  Walker, the 15 year old golden retriever belonging to my in-laws was called to tennis ball heaven.  Her incessant barking to come in and incessant barking to go right back out, her looking right at you but going the opposite direction when her name is called, and her ability to smell a tennis ball long since hidden in the upstairs freezer or the metal file cabinet in the office will be missed.  Her need to pace the floor and pant in the dead of night and winter as if she were in the desert while staying in our home and her loud garumph as she lands on the floor as if just dropped from the ceiling, and her way of leaving a puddle of water in front of her dish that flows like a small creek out of the kitchen will also be missed. 

The dank wet dog smell she leaves behind and the piles of whitish brownish fluff on the floor rugs and under the armoire's, I could do without, but the way she looked at you while rubbing her was as if her life depended on that very next move.  Up until recent months, she'd find a spring in her step and run, like a puppy, up and down that steep hill to lay in the near frozen lake as if it were the middle of summer and she needed to melt like a popsicle.

To tell Sunny this news wasn't easy and she cried as we held her, then snuggled in with daddy for a viewing of the Muppets Take Manhattan while I snuck out for some much needed mama time-thanks, Sharon!  Tonight, the heaviness of the week has hit.  I am tired, tucked into bed with a warm rice sack and will search Netflix for some stupid humor and off to sleep I'll go.

Suffice it to say, I haven't gone far, but have been just a bit preoccupied.  My goal is to get things in order by late next week so I can begin where we left off.  I understand if you've been a little upset with me, with the way I just left us hanging, but I promise to come back stronger than before...with more stories, more ideas and more resources to check out.

Until then, sleep well, my love.

Nichi

Comments

[Lisa Thompson]

Oh my. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Laurie]

Hugs, been missing you for sure and will await more updates until you have had time to process your grief! Take care of you first, Typepad a distant 100th!

[Rebecca]

Have missed you a bunch, we will wait til you are ready:) Take care and hope to catch up soon!

[Term Papers]

, tucked into bed with a warm rice sack and will search Netflix for some stupid humor and off to sleep I'll go.