do you ever wonder

Today I have found myself in a place of wondering...

-i wonder if Fannie will remember the conversations we have while nursing before bedtime. Though mostly one-sided, with her smiling and nodding at me with a full mouth, I do get an occasional, "yeah, mama's milky" while she nods and smiles at me with the dreamiest look in her eyes.

We talk about our morning...you called to me this morning from your crib, "Mama, you may come", and made daddy and I smile before even seeing you.  you tell me i'm siwwy, you lean over to kiss daddy, you nurse, then Sunny comes in for a quick snuggle and we get up to make breakfast.  you put your waterboots on all by yourself and came to me with rainsuit, gaitor and hat on, all set to play.  you reminded me to give you vitamins and your oils this morning, you sweet baby, you.

We talk about our day...we went for a walk, you walked solo until we got to the busy road, then up you went in the Ergo.  you sang in my ear the whole way, only stopping once to hand me your mittens so you could tuck your paws into the warm space between my back and your tummy.  you were in awe of the ice chunks on the lake, "why doing like that?", and "Annie dus fine in a ba-pack", you remind me as I say, "how's Fannie doing back there?"

We talk about our night...you helped mama make dinner, whisking in the measuring spoons, folding the napkins.  you took a bath with Sunny, swimming and kicking in the tub...in a stinky bean and out so squeaky clean...you are a site to behold, all soft and round and pink and pure.  from your woolie socks to your sleeping hat, a bundle so cozy and warm; we rock and sing and nurse and rock. i hold you and you hold me as we say goodnight to the world.

-i wonder if Sunny will remember her two tender years of kindergarten with as much warmth and gratitude as i.  her teacher told me today that Sunny inquired over dish washing on Friday about who her first grade teacher might be and how sad she was to be leaving kindergarten.

This love of Waldorf, the small class room, the nurturing, growth, security, and love given her has her in such a beautiful place.  We all wonder about life in first grade, this time of big-big growth for her, this end of early childhood looking us so closely in the eye.

-i wonder when we will welcome the next hatchling to our nest, so comfortable where we are, yet knowing there are more to come.

i, the one with the uterus...i know there are more...she (my uterus) tells me there are more.  "there is more room, there is enough money, there is enough time.  i am ready", says she.  i tell her, "wait-just one more year".  she is ready, i am not, though i do know there are more.

-and i wonder when we, mama and daddy, when we will have our time

in the midst of life with wee ones, we sneak moments, smiles, and in this day and age-text messages, and collapse at weeks end, hand in hand, sleeping before the movie is over...goals for the immediate future:  consistent ( or any, for that matter) date nights, 2 day getaways, perhaps a vacation to renew, refresh, and unwind; more moments, smiles and text messages...and definitely more collapsing at weeks end, hand in hand, sleeping before the movie is over...

 

and  you, what are some of your thoughts on this contemplative day

 

Comments

[Laurie]

You made me tear up so early in the morning, so lovely are your thoughts! Listen to your uterus, she is one smart body part! :)

[Lisa Thompson]

This is a beautiful post. Those little moments of pure love are what life is all about.